This one is really interesting. Because, we have complete control over it. It’s something that you can challenge yourself with day by day, and even moment by moment. But, only if you pay really close attention.
For any ‘Script’ to be successful, you need to have a good ‘Story,’ and a strong ‘Cast.’
Remember, YOU are the ‘Star’ as well as the ‘Director.’ In other words, for this all to come together, you need to step back and do an honest inventory of yourself, as well as the people that you choose to surround yourself with.
Today, I wanted to focus just on the ‘Cast.’
First, we need to identify who they are. Secondly, we need to assign them a ‘Role.’ But, always remembering that you are the Star, and have the power to assign these parts.
Is there a ‘Co-star (s)?’ They can be a significant other, your Children, a close Friend, etc. These relationships will have the biggest impact on your story. They will get the most power and attention.
Next, ‘Supporting roles,’ your Boss, employees, co-workers. Basically, your casual relatively predictable acquaintances. People that are somewhat needed to keep moving forward in the writing of the story but, at a lower impact level.
Then there are the ‘Extras.’ The people walking down the street, background players. The People that make little, if no impact at all.
Once you have identified these Actors and assigned them a role, take an inventory on how much ‘Power’ and ‘Attention’ you have chosen to give to them in the past and present. Using this exercise, reassign power accordingly. If you are being honest, you will have to take some from one, and give more to another. You will probably find that you have to cut some of them out. In doing so, that now available energy can be focused on other deserving / healthy cast members, hence improving the story and strengthening that relationship. You, the ‘Star’ and “Director’ should get the most. (A Movie without a strong, competent leading Actor or Actress isn’t worth watching.) Followed by the Co-Star, Supporting Roles, and finally Extras. The ones higher on the cast list will have more power and impact on your story. Choose wisely.
After my divorce, and moving to a new city, I was starting from scratch! Feeling completely lost. I had very few ‘real connections.’ My ‘Cast List’ was nearly empty and shallow. I started reaching out, thirsting to fill the voids that had been created. Desperate to fill them, I made many compromises. I started to surround myself with a cast that began taking my story in a direction that I didn’t want it to go. I compromised my ‘Star role’ and gave that position away. Other peoples stories were starting to take the power over my own. It was exhausting.
At that point, I realized that my cast was out of control! The story was becoming dark and sloppy. Basically, the reigns had slipped out of my hands. But, I didn’t see it until I stepped back. I let others become the Star in my story, and I simply assumed the role of an ‘Assistant Director.’ It was out of control and It needed to get back on track.
I cut a lot of relationships out. People that I had know for years. Distanced myself from others. And, started putting more attention on myself, and the relationships that really matter. I have found that my phone doesn’t ring as frequently as is use to, but when it does those conversation are going to be impactful to my story.